Happy New Year Everyone!! As we all know, the New Year brings our attention back to goals goals goals and more goals. New ones for the new year or revising ones from the past. 

In the past making goals has been a fairly straight forward experience for me. However this time round, for whatever reason, I have struggled to identify what my goals are for this year. The last few weeks have been rife with confusion and indecision about what I actually want. Obviously then my New Year is doomed, because if I don't know what I want then neither I nor the universe can conspire to help me get it right..!?

Then I hear this from Robin Sharma:

"Confusion is nothing more than growth unfolding"

This was an aha moment for me, where I realised that actually the nature of confusion is very similar to failure. Confusion, just like failure is considered a negative thing. But if we look at confusion similar to failure, though a lense on growth, its much easier to be kind and compassionate towards ourselves and our process.

We spend so much of our time worrying and thinking about what the right decision is or what the next best step is, especially when our options and choices are abundant. Though often, thinking just amplifies our fears and doubts.

At the end of the day, as my favourite expression by Marie Forleo states: "Clarity comes from engagement not thought". This is especially true as I look back on all the things I did achieve and the many more things that I thought I would achieve but didn't. Or how often theoretically an idea seemed good but when I engaged with it I realised the gaps. Clarity comes form engaging whole heartedly in what you are experiencing. This includes engaging fully in your confusion just as much as acting on it. 

This has given me a whole another understanding of trusting, engaging and being aware of the process. A new way of relating to that expression, its the journey not the destination. As it is the journey that is always the memorable part, and the destination is always evolving.

So here's to a 2018. Even if you don't know what you want for it, because you know what, as you engage with it, it will get clearer. And you will figure it out.

"The only way to have the experience is to have the experience" - Seth Godin.

With Lots of love and a massive splash of joy
Your creative curiosity advocate.



Hi Everyone! Today I felt compelled to talk a bit about failure because lets face it, sometimes things just don't go the way we hope for.

I used to be part of a fail club until no so long ago. Where we got together every month or so to talk about our failure experiences. Being part of this group was quite a transformative experience for me. And one of the biggest takeaways from this was that failure is emotional. Which is why most of the time the experiences feel shitier than they actually are. But if we can acknowledge that failure is emotional, and acknowledge the emotion itself, we immediately start to make space to observe it from a more objective perspective. Was it actually that shitty or did it FEEL really shitty? And not always but majority of the time it's the latter. Seeing it this way always helps expose the "real failure" ie. "Actually If I just fix that line, and keep practicing, it will be better" vs "I'l never be good at anything!!"

Then there's also the negativity bias. We all have it. That no matter what, we naturally have a tendency to dwell on the negative aspect more than the positive. But like anything, learning to deal with failure is like training a muscle. It's acknowledging the emotion in every failure experience and separating the feeling of being a failure, to what the failure actually was. That's where it shifts from being a negative experience to a learning opportunity and create clarity for improvement.

And clarity for improvement needs to come from being aware of your own progress and where you are in your own process instead of comparing those to someonelses. When we can do that, we become less attached to the outcome, find joy in the little wins and trust our own pace and process as a result.

Hope you find this useful, as no matter where we are in life, we cant really avoid failure. We can only learn how to get better at processing them. Because while failure might be very emotional, if we aren't failing, we aren't growing.

So be kind to yourself, trust your own pace and process, learn from it and keep on doing what you love.

With lots of love and a massive splash of joy

Your creative curiosity advocate

Ps. If you feel like learning about and creating your own lil failure share and care group. Here is a link to the fail club I was part of. With some great reads and insights from the other members.